The Cow & Suckas // Death of a Gentleman

Last night I had the pleasure of joining my favorite Magic Trick and his boys at a familiar water hole. Now, I may hate on the Cow for its hit-or-miss crowd and its erratic musical selections (from Def Leppard to Elvis Crespo to Lil Wayne) but when it comes down to it... I always have a good time there. That's the point, isn't it?

Lately, I have kept my distance from the Cow. I was slowly getting tired of the same slim pickings that I usually encounter there (not that I go to the Cow in the hopes of finding my Prince Charming). But last night I was pleasantly surprised by a young Latin gentleman who had the ability to lead. Yes, ladies... a gentleman. Not some random sucka who sidles up next to you, gyrating off beat saying, "You're so hot! You're so hot!" while stepping on your new shoes and spilling his AMF all over your arm. Not some drunk ass Jabbawockee wannabe grabbing onto your hip trying to make babies on the dancefloor then calling you a stuck up bitch when you turn around and say, "Um, no thanks."

I say, he was gentleman.

Not only did this guy take me by the hand and pull me towards him to whisper, "Would you like to dance with me?" in my ear, homeboy maintained a respectable distance by busting out Salsa twirls and leading me around the dancefloor. This is what dancing with a partner is supposed to be like! When I finally gave him the greenlight for a little contact, he did not smell like sweat, hard liquor, or cigarettes. And the best part is, he let me go at the end of the song. He let me shimmy and shake back over to my company and left it at that. He didn't follow me around like a stalker or whip out his cellphone with the false hope that one dance could turn into romance. At the end of the night (which is now 1:30am at the Cow, wtf?!) I ran into him and we said, "Goodnight, thank you for the dance" with a handshake and a smile. Game recognized game.

As I was saying good-bye, however, I also ran into a dude who I had been dancing with earlier in the night. He stood off to the side, watched the gentleman and I chat and felt it appropriate to declare, "That guy's whack, he ain't got nothin' on me" in a brazen attempt to get my attention. But, he failed. No pie for you, sucka.

So, for you fellas out there who are secretly reading this (I know who you are!), here's a few tips on shedding your sucka status. Now, I don't claim to be a know-it-all in playing the game, but I do understand simple rules of engagement. The only way to win is to be the best player in the field, right?

1) Act like a gentleman at all times. As related in my story above, it is impressive and quite refreshing for women who encounter suckas on a daily basis to meet a man with manners and class.

2) Drop the defeatist attitude. I once had a conversation with a sucka who did nothing but whine about his life. Instead of accepting responsibility for his state of discontent, he proceeded to air a laundry list of names, dates, and places on which he placed blame. His vernacular consisted mainly of, "I can't" or "I don't know" or "It's not my fault." After 45 minutes of complete negativity, I summed up all the tact I could manage and said to him, "Grow a pair. Stop complaining, start doing." No real lady is going to want a man who can't do for himself first.

3) Be cool. And I'm not talking about dressing like Kanye or dancing like Chris Brown. Check your ego at the door. If you don't know how to handle your liquor, stick to Shirley Temples and Rob Roys. Watch your choice of words in front of the ladies. And for fuck's sake, keep the machismo to a minimum. There is nothing more unattractive than a sucka who needs to puff his chest and blow steam to prove that he is a man. Handle yourself appropriately, like my boy Josh once told me, "Never lose your sexy."

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Portrait of a Gentleman:

"If you don't have enemies, you don't have character."
Paul Newman

01.26.1925 - 09.26.2008

Student First. Performer Second.

"As with any art form, there is so much training one must do before they should EVER even consider being an ambassador of that art form."

-Micaya

Micaya is an old dance instructor of mine from Dance Mission Theater in San Francisco. She taught me that one can NEVER be too old to dance, to always bend my knees, to NEVER act like a diva ("Leave your ego at the door and learn"), and that "the beat is God." I take her words to heart as I continue my journey to the dream.

I also watch these videos to remind myself that I have to be disciplined in my study so that I don't end up looking like these girls....














You know how some people tell you not to touch a knife or a gun until you fully comprehend the power that it holds? I shall not get up on stage until I've got enough power, confidence, and bravada to work it like a boss.

God bless!

Barak Obama // Vent.

"And they can even elect a black president, but he's useless
Because he doesn't control the economy stupid."
-Immortal Technique

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Let me get this straight.

I gave my money to you so that I wouldn't lose it. I paid you "x" amount of money every month for insurance, just in case something bad happened to me. All of a sudden, you can't seem to find the money I gave you. In fact, you can't find a lot of people's money. When I ask you how such a thing could possibly happen, you don't have an answer and even if you did, it would be a lie. Instead of taking responsibility for your actions, you declare yourself bankrupt claiming that you don't have the resources to payback the money for which you were liable.

Someone's knocking on my door again, one of your minions trying to serve me another eviction notice. Now you're trying to take my house because I don't have the money to pay off my mortgage. I try to think positively and count my blessings: at least I still have a job. But for how long? You've been laying off thousands of people in the past few months. What makes me think that I am not threatened too?

You tell me, "Why don't you just go back to school?" You tell me this knowing full well that I cannot afford to pay for tuition and books. Even if I could afford to go to school, you would make sure that I got no attention, no focus, no progress, only a $80,000 debt that I won't be able to pay off because you wouldn't be able to offer me a job after I graduated anyway!

So I'm sitting here with no money in the present, no money earned from the past, and no money waiting for me in the future. I have no home, no job, no education. And then I read in the paper that President Bush wants to give you $700 Billion for your troubles.

FUCK YOU.

Message From the A.N.S.W.E.R Coalition

Demand that the Bailout Legislation Be Rejected

"We are witnessing a bankers' coup d’etat. In the name of saving the economy from a crisis created by their own greed and immense profits, Bush and the biggest bankers have taken a country and a people hostage.

“Give us your money and tear up what’s left of your Constitution or we will sink your economy,” is the message from Wall Street and the Bush Administration. “Give us the power and money we demand or you will be left jobless from a new economic depression."

Under the pretext of the banking crisis, the Bush Administration is changing the way this country operates. This is not simply taking trillions of dollars from the people and giving it to the richest bankers to do with as they see fit.

Congress is poised to vote to give the Executive Branch of government, and specifically the White House’s political appointees in the Treasury Department, the absolute right to take our money and give it to domestic and foreign banks and corporations without any oversight of elected officials, from the courts, or from the people.

The new legislation states: “Decisions by the Secretary [of the Treasury] pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.” The Legislation allows the Treasury Department to appoint the same bankers who created the crisis to administer and dictate the use of trillions of our tax dollars.

We will not stand by and let the Bush Administration formalize its vision of a “government of, by and for the richest bankers."

The new system institutionalizes theft on a grand scale. Lehman Brothers bankers will receive $2.5 billion in bonuses after their company went bankrupt last week, but the new dictatorial authority under the White House and Treasury Department has ruled out any relief for the millions of working families who are being foreclosed.

We live in a $15 trillion annual economy. Instead of taking our tax dollars and giving it to the already rich and powerful, these funds should be used provide to decent paying jobs, affordable housing, health care and a good education for our children. There is another way!

Now is the time to hear the voice of the people. A spineless Congress authorized Bush’s illegal war in Iraq and rubber-stamped the Patriot Act. Now they are being herded like sheep again to give the White House and Wall Street dictatorial control over the people’s money."

Click Here to Send a Letter to Congress

Dita Von Tesse for Agent Provocateur

I love how she made the performance into a little vignette. Slash, I've seen the outfits that Agent Provaceteur sells and holy shit. What I would give to dance in one of those outfits.... Not really practical for a pole dance, but hey a dancer doesn't have to twirl the whole time does she? Burlesque strip teases look like hella fun.

Check out the "Be Inspired" section of the site!

The Cost of New York City // Field Study

A single ride to Lower Manhattan on the MTA: $2

Seeing Ground Zero on September 11, 2008, sending out a prayer at St. Patrick's Cathedral, and getting a free Jazz show at City Hall Square: Priceless.

One hour bike ride through Central Park for two: $20.

Riding through Central Park in the rain: Priceless.

Late night cab ride from Brooklyn to Jamaica then ANOTHER cab ride from Jamaica to Great Neck: $70

Getting a private dance lesson from a self proclaimed "hoodrat" from Barbados: Priceless.

Admission for one student to the Museum of Sex: $8.25

Seeing a turtle masturbate with a staircase: Priceless.

One paperback copy of The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene: $18

Having 5 hours of quiet on the flight home to just read: Priceless.

Missing 6 days of paid work: $692.16

Spending 10 days in New York City with my best friend: Priceless.



eL <3 OG beb forever.

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Sin City Cabaret & Restaurant.
09.18.08

Researching pole technique, possible outfits, and the vibe of a true Gentleman's Club.

While it was a hands-on experience, I was surprised that the security guards weren't really doing shit. Up in the VIP room my girl was able to snatch a fistful of ones that were flying in the air. If I was dancing in the VIP room I would get a freakin' bodyguard or something. That way someone's watching out for me and my money at all times.

As demeaning or immoral as the whole occupation sounds, I think that some of the dancers really find their job fulfilling. To put it bluntly, some of us females are just freaky like that. At one point I was watching someone get a lap dance near my table. I immediately made eye contact with the guy and, without taking his eyes off me, he spanked the dancer's ass on both cheeks! I'm talking bare assed discpline. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen.

There was a good population of females in attendance that night too. On the way to our table, I was knocked over by a group of huge black women trying to get to the stage so that they could tip their favorite dancer. Speaking of the dancers...

The dancers were just how I like them - round, meaty, and classy. (With the exception of those dancers who opted to wear nipple tassels. They looked gaudy.) My favorite dancer wore a purple leotard that was ripped up in strategic places. It left something to the imagination as she danced and was easy to take off once it came time to strip. Homegirl had an ass so fat you could see it from the front. There was very little pole dancing, unfortunately. It was Stripper Idol Thursday aka Amateur Night and I wanted to see what a novice pole dancer looked like on stage. One dancer held herself vertically upside down and was able to slap her thighs together mid air!! I noticed that the poles on stage were a lot higher than my current ceiling so I'm probably going to have to start with twirls and save the Cirque du Soleil acrobatics for later. Gives me time to build muscle. =)


And finally, Sin City was also the ONLY spot I hit up in New York City that had good-looking men. Maybe I'm attracted to well-dressed men with money or maybe the Bronx just got the swag that I like... I don't know. I would've given some of those fellas private dances any day of the week. Holler.

Pulling Knowledge Wherever I Go

"Give love, compassion and positive education to the incarcerated and they will give back love and compassion to society. Give hate and no compassion to the incarcerated and they wil gve back total anarchy to society."

-Todd Ray Abernathy

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"Grounded is a state of mind. You don't seem to be grounded at this stage and its not a bad thing... it just means that nothing's holding you down right now. You got your wings spread for the next couple years of your life. You have big dreams, girl."

-Edwin, a kindred spirit born and raised in Brooklyn and living in on Long Island. We were sharing stories of our lives and he basically broke my life down for me.