Three Words

"Name three words you would use to describe yourself."

Always the hardest question I'm asked during Associate interviews. But after some careful thought... I think I've found the three best.

Random. Even I don't know where half the shit I think of or talk about comes from. I'm prone to random acts of "what the fuck" whether it be spontaneously arriving at a previously undisclosed location or waking up in the middle of the night and baking a batch of cupcakes (the kind with sprinkles). I'm always down to do the most random things with the most random people a the most random times. Though I must admit that life has gotten pretty SCHEDULED as of late taking a huge chunk out of my random life moments.

Hungry. This is not just in reference to the fact that I can eat almost anything at anytime. I am ambitious, driven, always hungry for more. Not to say that I'm insatiable, but that I strive for my worth which is usually a lot more than what I am given. It keeps me humble most times but I know that at 24 years old, I have not reached my peak. There is just so much more in the world and in life to be had that I would be foolish to stop climbing, stop wanting, and stop demanding more.

Hedonistic. This third word is always a tough one. I would always say something superficial like, lovely or entertaining (of which I am both, but those words don't pack enough punch to fully emulate me). By definition, a hedonist is a person who devotes his/her life to the pursuit of pleasure and self-gratification. Without these two things what joy would there be? Whether it be food, drinking, sex, shopping or watching Homestar Runner clips all night... I am devout to the religion of pleasure. I indulge constantly and have no problem escaping reality to invest in the fruits of my dreams. Luckily for me, working hard at what I do and earning my salary is the greatest pleasure of all.

Now I encourage you, dear readers to stop and think of three words you would use to describe yourselves. Then rethink them. Are they positive? Are they banal? Are they safe words? Are they honest? Did you ask someone for their opinion or did you come up with the three words on your own? It's hard I know. But don't be afraid to look in the dictionary or thesaurus... that's what they're there for.

Go on, define yourself today.

Dream Journal

He calls me in the middle of the night but I don't hear the phone ringing. I'm with my cousin in a two bedroom apartment full of shoji screens and plants in full bloom. There is no color, only splashes of brown and green. When I finally see that I've got a missed call, I'm excited. I have been waiting for his call.

I check the message that he's left but I can barely understand what he's saying. His voice cuts off and all I hear is, "Hey...I've been thinking...we should...stop...sex..call me.. 4..5...86...6886." When I start to dial his number my phone falls apart. The screen detaches and I struggle to hold it together, dialing and redialing what I think is his number. I start running through the apartment, searching for a landline and repeating the numbers so that I don't forget. My parents appear, holding a cordless phone, smiling at me. When I grab the phone and put my ear to the receiver, I can hear my brother on the other end of the line. He's wishing his ex girlfriend a happy birthday, which is today. I'm frustrated now, I'm forgetting the sound of his voice.

All of a sudden I'm in the bathroom. There is a child in the bathtub. He's sitting in warm water and I can see a light stream of yellow coming from beneath him.

"Get out of the tub!" I yell at him. I try to wash the yellow stream out of the water with the showerhead. The yellow slowly fades into light brown, then red. Then I notice that the showerhead is pointed directly at the tile wall, covered in rust. The water streaming down the wall is colored by the rust.

Flash forward, I'm walking out of the liquor store around the corner from my house. My mother is supposed to pick me up and take me to the airport. A red SUV pulls up beside me and, thinking its my mother, I hop in. But its not my mother. Its this guy I dated a couple months ago...and boy does he look good. He smiles at me and laughs. We start talking, flirting having a good "new love" moment. I'm thiniking to myself, "Dude, you dropped me. Why all of a sudden are you trying to holler again?" He puts his hand on my knee, tries to touch me in subtle ways.

Then I wake up. Its 1:30 in the morning and I've only been asleep for about an hour. I'm a little dazed, remembering the first part of my dream, unsure if it really happened or not. I've woken up from dreams like this before, confused by illusion and reality. I reach for my cellphone, just to make sure it didn't happen. Nope, no call. But I've got these butterflies in my stomach and I'm having trouble breathing.

Goddammit, I wish my dreams weren't so powerful.

Graphics // Technology

My brothers:

www.gavingpk.com

www.21maroons.com


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I hate that I don't understand this technologic language. I feel so primitive.