Tiny confession about my dark side? I'm kind of a klepto. Now, I don't just steal without purpose, I mean, my apartment isn't full of unnecessary knickknacks that I accumulate as a result of my minor addiction. I tend to swipe books and cosmetics and I only swipe from corporations, never (okay, only once) from other people or from Mom and Pop/underground/small businesses. I don't know why. Luckily, I've only gotten caught once . . . trying to lift the biography of Martin Luther King, Jr. from a school library. (Oh, the shame.)
Anyway, my point is even though it wasn't one of my new year's resolutions for 2009, I have pledged to read as many books as I can this year. I had forgotten what an escapist experience it is to get lost in literature. Since I'm destined to live the next few months in my own solitude, I'm actually excited about the prospect of reading a ton of new books. Fiction, nonfiction, self-help, biographies... I'm ready to read them all. Yes, even those goddamn soft core teen porn novels about vampires. Already I've gotten two books under my belt this month alone: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene and Hellions by Maria Raha. I'm currently reading Miles from Nowhere by Nami Mun, a story about a young Korean American runaway surviving in the Bronx and am halfway through Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert which I started back in November. Among the books I'm excited to delve into: The Gangster of Love by Jessica Hagedorn; Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction by David Sheff; Cebu by Peter Bacho; and The Price: My Rise and Fall As Natalia, New York's #1 Escort by Natalie McLennan.
Got any good recommendations?
January 28, 2009
January 27, 2009
The Future is for the Kids
Amidst all the feelings of hope and change that have been floating around following the election and inauguration of President Barack Obama, I have been secretly harboring cynicism about the fate of our future. As I continued to work in the streets and become increasingly aware of the rise and nature of crimes in the 7x7 area of San Francisco, my negativity seems validated. In a recent post on love in the first month of 2009, I remarked how I was lost in a state of limbo... I was devoid of hope and drive, not just about my own life but the world at large as well. It was extremely disheartening.
Luckily, I know how to remedy my personal maladies.
First, let me start by saying that I know nothing about kids. Just the other day I attended my first baby shower and found that I lacked the social etiquette necessary for that type of event. When the mother-to-be opened gifts, I oohed and aahed even though I had no clue what half of the items were. At one point she held up what looked like a tiny toilet brush and I imagined the most horrendous application of it. Thinking it was something used to clean out baby bottoms, I shrieked hella loud, "What the fuck is that for?!" It was a bottle cleaner.
I had so many questions about child birth, things I probably should have asked in my college Human Sexuality class... had I ever gone.
What happens to the umbilical cord after it gets cut? Does it retract back into the mother's body like an electrical cord or does it just hang there? Does the mother's belly turn into a large flap of skin after the child is born? How does a fetus breathe inside the mother's stomach? What does it feel like to breast feed? Does it hurt? Do you ever get turned on?
I didn't say that last question out loud because, yeah, it sounds stupid, but it's a VALID question! Amazing how much a baby shower made me, a woman on the verge of 25, feel like an infant. The party served as a gentle reminder that I am soooo not at that point in life where I can even think about thinking about children. My girl said it best, "Stick to bachelorette parties, eL. You're not ready for baby showers." So true, though I doubt I'm ready for those either.
But I digress.
In an attempt to rise up out of my previously mentioned funky mood, I decided to start volunteering for the Toddler Hour at the Salvation Army Harbor House. I've always believed that giving love is the best way to feel love so for the next couple months I have a standing date to hang out with 1-2 year old kids playing with toys, singing songs, and laughing for no other reason than the fact that life is good. It's been so long since I've been around anyone younger than the age of 16, I'd forgotten how easy life can be.
It wasn't hard for me to find joy in bouncing a rubber ball or stacking wooden blocks. I found immense therapy in singing my own hip-hop rendition of Row, Row, Row Your Boat to a group of eager toddlers. In fact, seeing the innocence in a 2 year old's cheerful eyes reminded me why I continue to struggle: if not to see a better world for myself, then to make a better world for these kids. They know nothing of the economic slump that has cut over 2.6 million jobs last year or the 800+ deaths in Gaza. They have no knowledge of police brutality or of the fact that the population of San Quentin State Prison is almost as large as the population of freshmen enrolling for the first time at San Francisco State University. I struggle now so that they don't have to.
But it's a mistake to say that today's youth have no knowledge of the troubles in our country. I recently came across an article on Newsweek.com that highlighted letters written by elementary school children, addressed to President Obama. Among the congratulatory sentiments and questions of "How does it feel to be the first black president?" the children made note of the issues they found pertinent to their own futures. If the children are aware of the struggle, isn't it in our best interests to make sure the struggle isn't for nothing?
The Year of the Ox is upon us and I am refreshed today by the promise of a healthier world for my unborn child. I know my struggle has purpose, that my life has meaning, and that there is hope for our future. Sometimes, I need to be reminded.
And dude, if a 5th grader can tell that we're wasting money in Iraq, why can't our government?
Luckily, I know how to remedy my personal maladies.
First, let me start by saying that I know nothing about kids. Just the other day I attended my first baby shower and found that I lacked the social etiquette necessary for that type of event. When the mother-to-be opened gifts, I oohed and aahed even though I had no clue what half of the items were. At one point she held up what looked like a tiny toilet brush and I imagined the most horrendous application of it. Thinking it was something used to clean out baby bottoms, I shrieked hella loud, "What the fuck is that for?!" It was a bottle cleaner.
I had so many questions about child birth, things I probably should have asked in my college Human Sexuality class... had I ever gone.
What happens to the umbilical cord after it gets cut? Does it retract back into the mother's body like an electrical cord or does it just hang there? Does the mother's belly turn into a large flap of skin after the child is born? How does a fetus breathe inside the mother's stomach? What does it feel like to breast feed? Does it hurt? Do you ever get turned on?
I didn't say that last question out loud because, yeah, it sounds stupid, but it's a VALID question! Amazing how much a baby shower made me, a woman on the verge of 25, feel like an infant. The party served as a gentle reminder that I am soooo not at that point in life where I can even think about thinking about children. My girl said it best, "Stick to bachelorette parties, eL. You're not ready for baby showers." So true, though I doubt I'm ready for those either.
But I digress.
In an attempt to rise up out of my previously mentioned funky mood, I decided to start volunteering for the Toddler Hour at the Salvation Army Harbor House. I've always believed that giving love is the best way to feel love so for the next couple months I have a standing date to hang out with 1-2 year old kids playing with toys, singing songs, and laughing for no other reason than the fact that life is good. It's been so long since I've been around anyone younger than the age of 16, I'd forgotten how easy life can be.
It wasn't hard for me to find joy in bouncing a rubber ball or stacking wooden blocks. I found immense therapy in singing my own hip-hop rendition of Row, Row, Row Your Boat to a group of eager toddlers. In fact, seeing the innocence in a 2 year old's cheerful eyes reminded me why I continue to struggle: if not to see a better world for myself, then to make a better world for these kids. They know nothing of the economic slump that has cut over 2.6 million jobs last year or the 800+ deaths in Gaza. They have no knowledge of police brutality or of the fact that the population of San Quentin State Prison is almost as large as the population of freshmen enrolling for the first time at San Francisco State University. I struggle now so that they don't have to.
But it's a mistake to say that today's youth have no knowledge of the troubles in our country. I recently came across an article on Newsweek.com that highlighted letters written by elementary school children, addressed to President Obama. Among the congratulatory sentiments and questions of "How does it feel to be the first black president?" the children made note of the issues they found pertinent to their own futures. If the children are aware of the struggle, isn't it in our best interests to make sure the struggle isn't for nothing?
"I wish for you to stop the war. And help the poor people to get jobs. I wish that you will be able to help immigrants get papers to come to our country." -Jowana Melendez, 3rd Grade
"Another thing is that you want to improve education for future kids. For example, you want to make college affordable for all kids so they won't have to pay a lot of money. President Obama, you will make big changes. You believe that all the money that we are wasting in Iraq could be spent on reasonable stuff like new supplies for schools, new programs and technology. You want to cut taxes for people who earn less than $250,000 a year." - Jessica Collado, 5th Grade
"President Obama, you encourage me and all of America to follow their dreams. We could be anything. You opened a door to everyone.President Obama, may you please try to come up with new ways to help homeless people? I wish you and your family lots and lots of luck. I promise to follow you and Joe Biden's rules." -Mohamed Bamba, 5th Grade
"President Obama, can you stop the violence in our streets?" -Kris Alvarez, 4th Grade
[read full article here]
The Year of the Ox is upon us and I am refreshed today by the promise of a healthier world for my unborn child. I know my struggle has purpose, that my life has meaning, and that there is hope for our future. Sometimes, I need to be reminded.
And dude, if a 5th grader can tell that we're wasting money in Iraq, why can't our government?
January 22, 2009
2009 NBA All Stars Announced // The Return
WEST:
Chris Paul
Kobe Bryant
Yao Ming
Amar'e Stoudamire
Tim Duncan
EAST:
Allan Iverson
Dwayne Wade
Dwight Howard
Kevin Garnett
Lebron James
And Mama's got tickets to the Jam session and All Star Practice. Fuck yeah, getting the best of my Phoenix trip.
-----
Ellis plans Friday return to Warriors
By GREG BEACHAM
OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — Monta Ellis will be in the Golden State Warriors' lineup for the first time this season Friday night when they host the Cleveland Cavaliers.
The Warriors (13-30) decided after Thursday's practice to welcome back Ellis, who has missed the entire season while recovering from a sprained ankle sustained in an accident on a motorized scooter last summer.
Ellis has been back at practice for several weeks with the Warriors, who suspended him for 30 games without pay after the incident. The high-scoring guard got a six-year, $66 million contract extension about one month before crashing his scooter.
Chris Paul
Kobe Bryant
Yao Ming
Amar'e Stoudamire
Tim Duncan
EAST:
Allan Iverson
Dwayne Wade
Dwight Howard
Kevin Garnett
Lebron James
And Mama's got tickets to the Jam session and All Star Practice. Fuck yeah, getting the best of my Phoenix trip.
-----
Ellis plans Friday return to Warriors
By GREG BEACHAM
OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — Monta Ellis will be in the Golden State Warriors' lineup for the first time this season Friday night when they host the Cleveland Cavaliers.
The Warriors (13-30) decided after Thursday's practice to welcome back Ellis, who has missed the entire season while recovering from a sprained ankle sustained in an accident on a motorized scooter last summer.
Ellis has been back at practice for several weeks with the Warriors, who suspended him for 30 games without pay after the incident. The high-scoring guard got a six-year, $66 million contract extension about one month before crashing his scooter.
January 11, 2009
January 7, 2009
Violence Births Violence
Protests over BART Shooting Turn Violent
-SFgate.com
Didn't I say that the world would become increasingly violent REGARDLESS of the election of the first black male? Didn't I say that it doesn't fucking matter because the people are getting RESTLESS? Dont get me wrong, I believe in peace, I believe that if we send positivity out into the world we will receive positive things .... but I also believe that the only way we will overcome oppression is if we TAKE justice instead of WAIT for it to be given to us.
Change in the world isn't going to happen with a turn in government office... American society will continue on its destructive ways regardless of who is sitting in the Oval Office.
DO NOT WAIT FOR JUSTICE! DEMAND IT. Fuck it, let's get violent.
Bambu said it best: "Jay-Z and Barack ain't changed my block.....A black president ain't gonna change what Americans see. " (Like Us, Bambu) Listen to it here.
---
I wasn't at the protest tonight but I was in Oakland. I decided to expend my energy and efforts at a different struggle.
Golden State Warriors vs. Los Angeles Lakers: 106 to 114.
Still a good game. Fuck Laker fans. WARRIOR FANS TALK BETTER SHIT (at least!)
January 1, 2009
Two Thousand Nine.
Two Thousand Eight.... you were an AMAZING year and if I could, I would relive you over and over and over and over again. But here I go... looking toward the future with high hopes.
This year I resolve :
to quit smoking cigarettes for the millionth time.
to start studying for the LSAT because the courts are screaming my name and I'm compelled to answer their call.
to stop using lack of funds and/or a demanding work schedule as an excuse to not spend time with my family and friends. This goes double for my TMK homies who I miss so much.
to continue learning the art of game because ... it's fun. =)
but, more importantly to love freely, openly, and honestly because a Pisces is only at her best when she stays true to her emotional self.
Wish me luck and happy new year, ya'll. Let's make it a good one!
This year I resolve :
to quit smoking cigarettes for the millionth time.
to start studying for the LSAT because the courts are screaming my name and I'm compelled to answer their call.
to stop using lack of funds and/or a demanding work schedule as an excuse to not spend time with my family and friends. This goes double for my TMK homies who I miss so much.
to continue learning the art of game because ... it's fun. =)
but, more importantly to love freely, openly, and honestly because a Pisces is only at her best when she stays true to her emotional self.
Wish me luck and happy new year, ya'll. Let's make it a good one!
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