Empathy

I am sitting on my back porch,
Cigarette in hand
I lift my fingers to my lips
And take a long drag.

The city has now entered the end of the year.

Today she says to me, "I remember February.
I remember all of the things that I wanted for myself
By the end of this year and now, look, it's November.
Here I am and this what I have,
I've never been happier."

In February, she was sneaking around dark hallways
Keeping secrets that she wasn't capable of handling.
She was beginning a long road to recovery from a life built in dark places,
Carrying a burden and enduring a struggle
That not too many people would understand.
She sits before me, smiles and support all around,
And I see the health, I see the color, I see the change.
I was there with her through those months.
I was there with her through those times.
And she was with me.

I wanted to tell her that I was afraid too.
I wanted to tell her that I had once been in a relationship
That self destructed, that left shards of broken glass
Deep in my skin.
I wanted to tell her that sometimes, they made me itch.
I wanted to tell her that I too
Had fallen in love with a man who didn't know how to love me back
But all I could say was a simple, "I know what you mean."

So I watch her now, standing on the corner
Cigarette in her hand.
She lifts her fingers to her lips
And takes a long drag.