When I asked my boss if there was a dress code she said,"Dress appropriate." The key word here is: appropriate. What the fuck do I know about going into judge's chambers and walking through a gaggle of district attorneys? So, of course, true to self I wear the most appropriately inappropriate attire: a curve hugging, black and gray cowl neck dress. While I agree that the length was a clear violation of the three finger rule (hem cannot be higher than finger lengths above the knee), I was wearing black tights so absolutely no skin was showing. What's the big deal? On top of that, NO ONE wears bangles in the courtroom. I had to try so hard not to bangle that I damn near had to stop moving for ten minutes just so I wouldn't make a sound while the judge was talking. I didn't fare any better when my boss unexpectedly brought me into the jailhouse and I was marched in front of a line of male inmates. (By the way, for some reason, I really like the orange color of the sweatsuits that the inmates have to wear. Is that wrong?)
How do I integrate my fashion sense into something a little more conservative? Do I have to hide my tattoo everyday with a turtleneck and a watch? Where can I find cute heels comfortable enough to run and climb stairs in? Must I sacrifice style and substance in order to follow a strict unsaid understanding of the legal and law enforcement world?
It's gonna be hard with this body. I mean, not that I'm comparable to Buffy the Body or Vida Guerra. It's just that... I have these curves that I can't really hide unless I'm wearing a potato sack. A high school teacher once said to me, "Even when you're not violating the dress code, you look like you're violating the dress code." She was referring to the fact that though there was really nothing to see, you couldn't help but still look to make sure.
Anyway, I know that in order to get the right kind of attention from the people that I need to pay attention to... I must dress in a manner that they understand. Back to the pinstripes and button down shirts, I go. Gotta leave the clubbing clothes in the closet and put away the wifebeaters for cleaning days.
The days are getting colder so maybe the turtlenecks aren't such a bad idea after all.
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